Needless to say, the stunning Super Bowl XLII upset by the New York Football Giants led to a pretty awful hangover this morning. But as I was recovering in bed, I stumbled across the following gem in the latest book from our friends at The Onion, Our Dumb World: Atlas of the Planet Earth
New Jersey: Demanding People Shove It Up Their Ass Since 1832
Located in you know where the fuck we are, and bordered by a bunch of places that can suck it -- especially you, Pennsylvania -- New Jersey is one of the nation's oldest and most historic states. So f*ck you.
Founded by a guy who could kick your state-founder's ass, and boasting some of the safest, cleanest cities in America -- you hear that, jerk? -- New Jersey will destroy you, just say the word.
And while the state has in recent years come under fire from environmental groups, that doesn't f*cking matter because Jersey rules.
Oh, and by the way, the entire state was balls-deep in your girlfriend last night.
That last line is meant for you, Brady. 18-1!